Flatulence is a natural part of human bodily functions, and truthfully I don’t understand the taboo around it. Sure, it’s funny as hell when someone lets one rip, but why must that make it so taboo. My mother and father have told me stories all my life about how I was a farter from the moment I was born. No joke! I was two weeks old and the nextdoor neighbor came over to see me (who can resist a new baby). According to my mother, I let a big one rip and the woman about fell apart because such a big fart could come from such a tiny girl.
I got my kid back, though. A few years ago, my husband, son, mother-in-law and I went to Six Flags. My tummy had been tight all day, and for some reason that drive helped relax my stomach. Now, mind you, by this time we all knew my son let farts fly whenever he needed the release. He didn’t (and still doesn’t) care when or where, he just farts. Well, I let one go. It was silent and didn’t burn so I thought I was safe. I was wrong! The smell was horrendous. It filled the whole car in a matter of seconds. My husband instantly knew it was me, but my mother-in-law assumed it was my son. We were rolling windows down, laughing, and pretty much in tears over the stench, but I let my kid take the blame. To this day, my mother-in-law thinks it was my son who tried to kill us with bodily toxins. So, Vivian, if you’re reading this… IT WAS ME!!!