What if I don't feel that warmth, you ask. My answer is, don't worry about it. Instead, feel the hurt and anguish you have building inside you. Allow yourself to feel, even if it's pure agony. Cry. Scream. Punch a toy Santa, if you must. Remind yourself that you deserve to cry. You deserve to laugh. But most of all, you deserve to simply feel. Not everyone can be in the holiday spirit, but if you simply allow yourself to feel whatever is building up inside, then you will come out on top. And yes, I know that is so much easier than it sounds. Trust me. But take it from someone with a little experience, allowing all that despair to release itself will help you find the joy you need.
In A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Scrooge is visited by four ghosts. Most of us view the story as a means of saving Scrooge from eternal damnation, and this is true, but what it is really showing is that all four ghosts wanted Scrooge to feel again. His soul could only be saved if he allowed the world, and the holiday season, to warm his soul. He lost his way, as so many of us have, and with their guidance, he found it again. Each of us can be saved as along as we allow ourselves to feel everything that is bottled up inside us. Life is too short. Live in the moment, as the Buddhist teach, and give over to what really matters...you.
Merry Christmas with all my heart.